Our childhood affects us in many ways. Our early childhood is an important part of our lifetime and unforgettable too. Kids are pure and like water in whatever vessel you put their fragile minds and souls, they become it.
Therefore, it is utterly important to address the needs of kids and care for their emotional well-being too, at all times, along with their physical wellbeing. At times due to lack of attention, financial worries, trying to make both ends meet, or due to bad habits and day-to-day tensions in the family, among the parents, or misunderstanding the kids unnecessarily brings too many problems for the children.
These mental faculties, memories and visual and auditory which kids develop at an early age, will be with them into their adulthood. Individual choices, preferences, habits, and behavior all depend a lot on our past and childhood experiences according to psychological studies.
If a child feels deprived of love and connectivity in one’s childhood, it often ends up having a tangled, complicated personality when growing up. Children idealize the relationship between their parents and family and in relation to that when they grow up they idealize their own relations too, and signifies and prioritizes their relationships.
Hereby any kind of childhood trauma mental, physical, accidental, or abusive, leaves a deep scar on a child’s heart and mind. Neglecting the child while one is growing or constantly criticizing the child can make them grow unfigured, dislocated, disorientated, and furious. The disrespectful language use which they hear in their early childhood from any source becomes part of their own personality when they grow up. So one has to be extra conscious while taking care of a child, teaching a child, or raising a child. Humans adopt five kinds of behaviors while growing up if their childhood is not happy and satisfied.
1- Seeking security all the time, being frustrated and lack of decisiveness, or being overprotective for own loved ones. The helplessness that one might have felt while growing up gives a boost to the desire to be controlling all the time, which can create many problems for others who are related to, work with or want to be around a person who has such a behavior.
2- Feeling anxiousness in one’s self and expressing it on others in form of being cross with others all the time, or even being disrespectful to others for no reason. This can be a result of a child growing up in an environment which collectively cultivates self-doubts, helplessness, being unable to figure out things, and lots of ongoing emotional and physical struggles as well as blames and resentments.
3- Kids who grew up seeking the approval of others and need of being praised as they felt neglected due to many reasons while growing up, most of the time face unhappiness while growing up, and tend to avoid others when they grow up, that too at times for no reason. They don’t like social company and most of the time remain busy with themselves. They dismiss the advance of others, even if it benefits them.
4- Feeling of fear and anxiety leads to feelings of inconsistency and undependability. At times, feelings of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence, unresolved or feeling unworthy, are quite obvious in kids who somehow couldn’t enjoy a fulfilling childhood. They grow up having a broken heart and difficulty at maintaining close relationships, as they feel scared that maybe in their adult lives two they will be let down by their loved one’s. So, they always stay reluctant to take any decision.
5- Feeling one’s self a victim all the time and always blaming others for one’s own mistakes and doings. The blame is always on the other person. Never does that person who has a victim frame of mind take any kind of responsibility ever. They are emotionally avoiding every possible situation and wrongly blame anyone whom they could. They are self-centered and detached from others’ feelings and struggles. They want others to be around them whenever they need them, but they don’t want to be around others when they need them.
We can say that any kind of adverse childhood experience, sooner or later when people enter adulthood makes them reflect different behavior and traits. Especially if that trauma is because of the result of parental or close ones’ doings in any way it affects a person’s personality tremendously. Some, try to control others, whereas some always try to please others.
Some display the idealized version in everything, and some could never trust others again. However, in one way or another, childhood plays a huge role in defining all these roles in a person’s life. For stable happy growth, the stable, joyful, happy environment must be presented to kids when they are growing.
The reason is, the moment we become adults and see the world, whatever we have experienced in our childhood, we apply it to our lives and it affects all those, who come along and be part of our lives. Therefore, our parents, caregivers, teachers, and society all play a huge role in our formation as a person. These influences can build a child for the better today or tomorrow, and vice versa could destroy a child if influences and occurrences yet happenings of life are negative.
Whatever we experience and learn in our childhood writes the story of our lives present, and if we can’t get hold of ourselves, then of our future too. How we react to others and show our concern, care, and love for others somehow all display our experiences of childhood. Based on all these facts, mostly “the Love Styles Individual Carries are categorized”. This is a set of behaviors and capacities how we associate and relate to other people and our partners, and whom we care for.
Therefore to raise healthy, happy, productive kids, who could be responsible, responsive, aware, focused, and joyful, productive individuals and can interact better form meaningful, lasting relationships each one of us has to get hold of ourselves, be responsible and attentive, promote peace, positivity, and joy and know ourselves, revisit our thoughts and behavioral patterns thoroughly to help others do better and receive better.